Do you hope for the best, but prepare for the worst? Know your BOBs from your BOVs? Have at least three months’ supply of food and water stashed away? Then you could well be a prepper. Here are twenty more tell-tale signs that you’re probably going to be completely fine when the inevitable zombie apocalypse begins:
1. The boot of your car (bug-out vehicle) is so full of emergency equipment that it can’t function as a normal boot.
2. Your first thoughts upon entering any room are on where the exits are located.
3. Your knife collection amounts to double figures.
4. Meals don’t taste right unless they’ve been cooked in a mess tin on an alcohol stove.
5. You’re regularly harvesting the lint from your tumble dryer for tinder.
6. You spend more on things you don’t ever use than things you do use.
8. You have at least two of absolutely everything, because ‘two is one, and one is none’.
9. Your shoelaces are made from paracord. So are your coat’s zipper pulls, your dog’s collar, and your watch strap. Given the chance, you’d be wearing paracord underwear.
10. You know your 7 Ps: Proper Planning and Preparation Prevents P**s-Poor Performance.
11. Your medical cabinet contains more potassium iodide than paracetamol.
12. Food shelf-life is your most important concern when browsing the local supermarket, and if it doesn’t have great shelf-life, you’ll just pickle it.
13. Lockpicking is one of your favourite hobbies.
14. You have made all of your electrical and electronic equipment EMP-proof.
15. You think in Morse Code.
16. You’ve taken up archery as a ‘nice, wholesome activity’, but really it’s so that you can feed yourself and your family with nice, wholesome rabbit.
17. You have multiple secret bug-out locations planned, each with hidden caches of supplies.
18. At least half of the contents of your wardrobe are in DPM camo.
19. You can repair anything at any time, as you’re always carrying duct tape and you know how to use it.
20. Your favourite meal of all time is All Day Breakfast in a Mylar pouch.